i think i take the wrong path...

i think i should not take this path...   i feel like i wont success in education life...

i feel disappointed in my life... waste a lot of thing in my life... felt like i'm useless in study life... haiz... what should i do ? should i withdraw the college life? or should i keep going... well.... i have no idea... i felt my life is dont have target....

i want to follow my dream but i cant catch up my dream in my reality life... 

i have one day told myself.. if this certificate computer studies fail... i will withdraw forever.... wont going to college anymore...

is not challenge or anything... is because my dad cannot afford me to college... i just wanna help my family and my brother to live better so that they dont worry about me so much.... 

i always take the wrong path to go in my life... maybe the GOD told me not to go to college... 'your brain wont catch up in college life' is just wasting time , money ,and effort....

if this course i really fail... i really withdraw my college... i'm serious here... not kidding... nowadays a lot of company will hire the degree level... even you after study in university and graduate... still you have to work a company... but higher salary.. not like after SPM level... 

i know many of people dislike friends with low level... means like dint go to college or university... 

i have both side friend... one is education friends and one more is not very clever in study but they dint go to college is because they not good in study doesn't mean they are bad people or stupid...

not that they dont want study... they just a bit slow thinking... just like me..

have some people they look down on low level people example like SPM level.. but they are university graduate... i seriously dont like it... i want to study but i cant catch up... why ? i have no idea why i cannot study well... i feel SUCK in my life... 

i scare one day my friend are wearing the formal suit and not recognize me anymore... i just dont want be like that in my life... when in secondary school we always have fun together... after a 10year all of them have change to different attitude....